Did you know that every single person on this planet has a void in their heart? Different circumstances may trigger your awareness of it over the course of your life & you may think that's the reason for the Void but what if I told you that void was a God-sized Void? Total game changer right?
These are my Confessions
Pardon the Usher flashback........The other day I found myself in a frame of mind that I haven't been in, in a while. I'll be super transparent with you because, why not? I don't have everything figured out and whoever said that I was supposed to? Yea I decided to launch a blog to help ppl who struggle through the healing process, but it doesn't mean I'm not still going through the process myself. The simple fact that I do struggle is what I feel helps qualify me to write these pieces in the first place. I don't think anyone would want to take advice or help from someone who's never walked a day in their shoes or couldn't relate to them on some level. I wouldn't at least. So, let me preface this by calling this an opinion piece. Heck, this whole website is an opinion piece of a girl who's had her heart broken one too many times and doesn't want to see other people walk down the painful road that she has. Only God has been able to drag me out of the pits of despair I've found myself in. He's helped me out more times than I can recount and is helping me out even now as I find myself in a state of perpetual dissatisfaction. I had to sit with my discomfort, which I encourage all my readers to do, to get to the bottom of why you feel the way you do, because there's ALWAYS a reason. These uncomfortable feelings of mine went far beyond hormones, or sugar and caffeine withdrawal. It went far beyond my boyfriend showing up late for a date or me "waking up on the wrong side of the bed". You can only wake up on the wrong side so many times before you have to stop and take a deeper look. Or at least you should, cuz you know, that's my opinion.
I live in one of the most beautiful cities in all of America, San Diego, California. I moved here from another one of the best cities in all of the world, New York City. My job paid me to move here, you know what that means? I have a pretty awesome job. I have a beautiful apartment, beautiful car, I'm healthy, have a closet full of clothes, some with tags still on it, I have a great friends who check on me often, a family who loves me, and I attend a great church here in town. Please don't get me wrong, I am NOT saying any of this to brag at all. What I'm saying is, I'm incredibly blessed and I know it. God has provided for me over the years in ways that I would've never imagined. Ways that highlight His goodness over and over. But in spite of all the blessings I have, do you know that I sometimes still struggle to find peace of mind or get rid of the knot of anxiety I have in the pit of my stomach over my future fears? What is that about?? How dare I? I feel like a complete spoiled brat. I'm grateful and so thankful for everything I have. He knows I am. But why do I still find myself discontent or wanting more? Human nature maybe? Always striving for the next big thing, or the next season of life.
GOD Sized Void
Every so often in the news you hear tragic stories of celebrities committing suicide. Mostly that they've overdosed on some crazy drug or got into some car accident in their insanely expensive foreign car. If you're like me, you think How? Why? This person literally had it made. They had everything they could ever want at their fingertips. They lived in a ocean front or cliff side mansion, probably had multiple servants, private chefs, personal trainers, and a private jet waiting to take them to any destination on a complete whim. How is this even possible? I'll tell you how its possible. Because of THE VOID. That inner longing deep in your gut that never gets satiated. The more you try to fill it, with whatever you know how, the emptier and deeper it gets. You want to know why? Because that VOID, is a God sized Void. And ONLY GOD CAN FILL A GOD SIZED VOID. You can't fill a spiritual void by physical means. Period. Unfortunately, that's what everyone is trying to do. Only God was meant to fill a God sized void. Literally nothing else on this planet would be able to fit the slot. Round peg, square hole scenario. Ever hear of someone overdosing? Those are the hardest stories for me to hear. Because I know that person felt the pain of their VOID to such an incredibly deep level and they had no clue on how to fill it. The bigger the over dose the deeper the VOID and that ladies and gentlemen, is profoundly sad. No amount of drugs in the world can fill a longing that deep, one that was only meant to be filled by God.
Bible Time
In John Chapter 4, Jesus takes the inconvenient route to Galilee from Judea and passes through a town called Samaria. The thing that gets me about this story is the timing of it all. This woman (at the well), comes to her town's well at a time where she's purposely trying to avoid ppl. She's there at noon, the hot part of the day, and doesn't feel like dealing with townspeople judging her about her less than stellar reputation for being the town floosy. I can definitely relate to the avoiding ppl part. When I just don't feel like seeing or speaking to anyone and I'm out with my shades and a baseball cap and hoodie over that! But Jesus passes through the town, right at the time this woman is coming out to get water and He's waiting for her at the well. Which is just so funny to me, because He's like, I see you! You can avoid all you want, but I'm here for you, and I know this encounter will help you and set you on your way. So they have this conversation, where He gets all riddle like and witty with her but He's basically telling her about herself. He's ALL up in her business & she perks up and listens a bit more now that He has her full attention and she realizes He's not some random dude just asking for water as a pickup line. He tells her basically, Hey, you don't have to keep living how you're living. You don't have to keep this front or façade up anymore. I know it's exhausting. I know you're not happy, it's written all over your face. What you think is making you happy, won't make you happy. You've had five husbands and the man you're living with now, you're not even married to. The men aren't going to do it for you Sis! Wow! This is just her story, but how many of us can relate?
Real Talk
Another drink isn't going to do it for you, another shopping spree isn't going to do it for you Sis, another hit of that joint isn't going to do it for you Bro, another trip across the world, although its fun, won't satisfy the longing in your heart! A bigger house in a nicer neighborhood, another promotion, a fancier car, a younger prettier spouse won't fill the void in your heart. But Jesus will! I think that's the biggest takeaway from this passage. There will always be something else to chase. Something or someone bigger and better but that won't do it. Because the longing can only be filled by relationship with Jesus. Trust me on this.
In John 4:13-14 it reads, "13 Jesus answered, “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again,14 but whoever drinks the water I give them will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life.”
“Because that VOID, is a God sized Void. ONLY GOD CAN FILL A GOD-SIZED VOID. You can't fill a spiritual void by physical means. Period. ”
You know, I think He allows our multiple attempts at filling our own voids fail for a time. Just because we are just so incredibly stubborn as a human race. It takes us some time to come around to this conclusion that "it" doesn't work, whatever that "it" may be for you. Sometimes we keep going back to what or who we know is harmful out of sheer habit. A habit that we need to intentionally break. Some of us come around to the realization sooner than others. Some of us get tired or bored sooner than others, some of us have more money to try other things and go other places. It isn't until those cheap imitation void fillers let us down and disappoint us do we realize that they're just not doing it for us. Unfortunately, it isn't until we hit rock bottom that we get shaken awake to the fact that we should've been going to Jesus all along. Sometimes it takes the serious heartbreak and rejection from the one that we thought we'd spend forever with to realize that they aren't God, in the sense that they won't be able to satisfy every need or validate every hurt feeling. But guess what? They were never meant to. My prayer for you is that you don't have to hit rock bottom to come to this realization. If you were to get quiet with yourself and free from distractions long enough to check in with yourself, I hope you'll feel that little nudge inside your spirit. The one that was placed there on purpose, not to make you suffer in pain, but as a call sign to return back to the Source of your life. The Source of your strength, your peace, your joy, your health, your purpose and literally EVERYTHING that makes you, YOU! Feel the VOID, because it's there & will always be there to a degree until we pass from this life into the next. Its a longing for Heaven, a longing that keeps us uncomfortable just enough to stay connected to our Source. Some of us are more aware of it than others but that just depends on how distracted we are. If you're at a place where you're feeling it, congratulations! we can get to work since awareness of it is the first step. But I beg you to begin to fill it with the One who placed it there strategically, intentionally and purposefully to keep you tethered to Himself. Its actually a wonderful design, but may we learn how to manage it the way it was intended.
Honeys, I know the holidays can be an extremely tough time to endure when your heart is hurting, If you'd like prayer for any part of your healing process, please reach out to the Healed Honey Prayer Team by clicking the link here. Just know that you don't have to suffer alone.
Happy Holidays to Everyone & Happy Healing!
Love,
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