We all need a hand sometimes. Don't let pride stand in the way of your progress. Be humble enough to ask for help when you need it, then be amazed at how quickly it appears.
So the strangest thing happened the other morning. I was sitting on my couch watching online church (cuz you know….COVID) and I don’t even know why I got up to get something; but I glance out the window to see my neighbor sitting in the grass in her garden. She definitely seems like the type to yell for help but she didn't and something just looked and felt off. So I called out to her and said, “Hey are you ok?” And she shook her head no. Then I said, “Do you need help?” And she shook her head yes. I made a bee-line for the door (see what I did there? Bee. Line.) and I get over to her and she’s just quietly sitting there, in tears. I know for a fact she didn’t want to have to need my help, but she did and couldn’t deny it. She wears a boot on her leg from a previous injury and she suffers with vertigo and the mix of the two, on top of 90 degree NYC summer heat is just a bad combination. She explained to me, that once she’s down, she can’t get back up on her own. I said, “I can help you get up.” Neighbor replies, “I’m …..lbs, are you strong enough to hold me?” Insert immediate internal panic and a quick mental prayer and I go,”I weigh more than you and I’m pretty strong”, trying to sound as convincing as possible. So with help from nobody but God and His angels, I come behind her, get her stable and we hobble/walk to her door. In that very moment, you couldn’t have told me I wasn’t a WWII soldier on the shores of Normandy helping a wounded soldier. Also, I might’ve just glossed over the fact that as I’m lifting her she takes a step back and we both almost go down, but that’s where I’m certain God stepped in. Crisis averted. We go on our merry way and this thought pops into my head.
How many of us are too proud to ask for help? How long was she really gonna sit there? How long do we sit and struggle waiting for someone to come and ask us if we need help? That's even IF someone is kind enough to offer. We flood our minds with thoughts of not wanting to inconvenience our family, friends, coworkers, church staff, whoever and the whole time they're usually more than willing to lend a helping hand or listening ear. I’ll even go a step further to say that God probably placed them in your life for such a time when you would need them. Asking for help does not infer that you are a burden or lazy or incompetent, it simply confirms the fact that you are HUMAN and probably have some pride to get over. We ALL need a little help sometimes, especially when it comes to matters of the heart, mind and emotions. (more on this in a moment)
Now, a word to the Helpers or spiritual First Responders as I see them. Please be kind and gentle in your response to such a request if one is made of you. Know that it probably took a lot for that person to come to a place of vulnerability to even let you in on what they’ve been going through or to ask for help or accept your help. Put yourself in the frame of mind of when you needed help. If you’ve never needed help, also know that you are incredibly blessed. But for the most part, I think a lot of us would agree that we were not always where we are now. Someone had to help you too, even if it was the Holy Spirit himself and not a physical person. Chances are someone somewhere was most likely lifting you up in prayer to get you through your situation. Another note, if you see someone clearly hurting, and feel that internal nudge to ask them if they’re ok, Please do! I would venture to say that, that prompting is most likely from the Holy Spirit and He wants to use you to help or bless that individual. For a split second, as I watched my neighbor sitting in the grass I thought, “oh maybe she’s tanning next to her flowers!”. Silly right? Unfortunately my first thought was not to spring into action to play super-neighbor. That’s just being real, but look how much she needed a hand. It never hurts to just ask, if anything they'll tell you they're fine, but at least you did your part.
Also important to note, I was NOT strong enough to lift her which is significant because sometimes you won’t have all the answers when someone comes to you but I believe this is ok too. If we did have all the answers then why would we need to rely on God? He gives us the right words in the moment we need Him when we rely on Him and can’t find the proper ways to articulate ourselves. Isn’t that so awesome? Reminds me of the verse, 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NLT) 'Each time He said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.' Wow. You know what that means? The less equipped we are, the more He will show up and flex. Hallelujah, God will show out and never let us down in those moments, ESPECIALLY when they’ve been set up by Him. So First Responders, take the pressure off of yourselves AND get over yourselves at the same time. Remember its not about you. Even when you're trying to rehearse a line of what you'll say in your head before you open your mouth and nothing seems right. I understand wanting to be prepared, I'm the same way, but sometimes we can't always prepare for when God wants to move and speak. When you feel that strong undeniable inner nudge, may I encourage you to just go for it.
The less equipped we are, the more God will show up and flex.
Back to the ones needing a hand, You’re wounded and its ok to nurse those wounds until you're healed. For a time. I want to emphasize that this should be only for a season, not your new way of life. If the wound isn’t healing, you may have to ask yourself why. What toxic thing or person, attitude, mindset or behavior is blocking this healing. I’ll give a quick example. Years ago I had a really toxic boyfriend. He wasn’t good for me from day one. Fast forward to “The BREAKUP” and I was in legit pain. Like felt it in my chest kind of pain. Anyway, for months, I’d still try to keep up contact with him, still try to ask mutual friends about him, still read old emails and texts. Pathetic, I know! But, see where I’m going with this?
There was no way I was going to make healing progress that way. I had to come to terms and accept the fact that it was over and mourn the loss of this fantasy dream life I had created in my head, I had to mourn the loss of who he pretended to be and frankly mourn the loss of the companionship. At the end of the day, he really wasn't even a nice person, so it’s not like I actually missed him. I just missed the activities and time spent but once I realized I could do that with Jesus and my actual friends, the stronghold broke and I was good. I’m saying all that to say, you can’t get free from a toxic environment or toxic situation and still have little splashes of poison sprayed onto you and think you won’t get re-infected.
There’s no partially detoxing, in this case its all or nothing. If COVID taught us anything, it’s how to disinfect a room. Create a sterile environment, once someone who’s infected sneezes on a surface in that room, you have to start the process over and clean all over again.
Now let’s do this spiritually, let's treat our spiritual life with that same care. Let's create a spiritually sterile environment. Let's be mindful of who or what we are allowing into our space, mentally, physically and emotionally. That’s one way to approach healing, real healing from the inside. But if you need a church mentor, or christian Life Coach (I know a great one by the way) or therapist to help you get there and/or pray you through things, please know that is totally fine and acceptable. I wouldn’t be where I am today if it weren’t for the ladies in the deliverance ministry at an old church I used to visit. Shout out to Sister Mary, Sister Hyacinth & Sister Patty for helping to get me on my way. I would have SO delayed my progress if I thought I was inconveniencing them every time I would call them or meet with them. Thank God they knew they were called to be First Responders and they were so warm and welcoming and inviting and checked on me often. I pray you have someone like that available to you. If you feel you don’t, there’s nothing wrong with praying to the Lord for Him to send you someone along your journey to help in that area. Pray that He would align you with someone to mentor you or walk through deliverance with. You can always submit your prayer request using this form here and I’ll be praying for you too.
Take things one day at a time, but don’t be afraid to ask for help. We all need it sometimes and that's OK!
Happy Healing!
Love,
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